4 ways to prioritize kids during a divorce

Getting divorced is hard on anyone, but it can be particularly difficult for the children of the couple getting divorced. These four tips help parents keep their minds on what matters during a divorce:

One of the most important ways to ensure that kids feel taken care of and safe during a divorce is to ensure that parents make kids and their feelings a priority instead of focusing on the divorce process or any animosity toward the other spouse.

• You may have hostile feelings for the partner you're divorcing, but you should still be sure to meet him or her halfway when it comes time to scheduling time with the kids.
• While you might not enjoy giving your kids to your spouse for more time or making life easier for him or her, easing as much tension as possible when it comes to scheduling time between parents shows that the kids' experience is what matters to you, not the feelings between parents.

Lives will change a lot during the divorce, but you should try to make changes that minimize the transition as much as possible for them.

• Try to arrange for the kids to remain in the house they've been living in as much as possible, and try to make arrangements to ensure that they will attend the same schools and have their lives as uninterrupted as possible.
• Making the effort will show that their lives are the most important priority for you.

Many divorcing partners do not like to communicate with one another, and they often send messages to the other spouse using children.

• However, if you want to show that you care about your children's feelings, never use your children as communication tools. Keep children out of the hostility between spouses if you want to show that you care most about how they feel.

Even if your spouse is going to be at a recital, play, or basketball game that your child is participating in, be sure to show up.

• Put aside any discomfort or hostile feelings you feel towards your spouse and realize that your presence is much more important.
• You never want your children to associate your divorce with having parents absent from important events.

Divorce is tough for everyone, but children are particularly vulnerable to this life change. Be sure to follow these tips and make them your top priority.